He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

What distinguishes an honest farewell from a cowardly one? An honest farewell from you—that would have been the attempt to come to some understanding with you about how it was with us, you and me. For that is the meaning of a farewell in the full, important sense of the word: that the two people, before they part, come to an understanding of how they have seen and experienced each other. What succeeded between them and what failed. That takes fearlessness: you have to be able to endure the pain of dissonance. It is also about acknowledging what was impossible. Parting is also something you do with yourself: to stand by yourself under the look of the other. The cowardice of a farewell resides in the transfiguration: in the attempt to bathe ‘what was’ in a less golden light and deny the dark. What you forfeit in that is nothing less than the acknowledgment of your self in those features produced by darkness.